I'm just WAYY off his radar. Sucks. Oh well. My loss. :/ Maybe I'll give up. I just REALLY want to be pushed to a wall and have my neck kissed and waist cuddled. Or with my hands against the wall. It brings butterflies to my stomach lol. That's a weird thing to do that. I guess that it's sensual angst. Not even SEXUAL angst. I've reached the point in HRT where my sensual zone has moved from the lower sections to everywhere and my neck is begging to be nuzzled. 5 minutes can't go by without me being distracted by the thought. My neck gets all tingly and my stomach gets all butterfly-y and I zone out. I'm pretty sure I've made out with the air in public a few times. I know I've said this many times but... I NEED TO GET LAID. Not even to get laid, but just the contact. It's all I want.
Drug test next week. Fuuuuun. I still need to finish that paper. Luckily, I still have much time. I'm not gonna put it off til the last minute, but I have more important things to do, not that I don't realize this is important too. I have to have priorities if I wanna get shit done, and I'm CERTAINLY not getting the rest of my shit done. Intro to Music is like, back-of-my-head- I-don't-want-to-think-about it phase. Next semester, I'm taking 13-14 credits. I need to. It'll keep me on track, but it'll also give me some time to resolve myself and focus on my new dorm for a bit, which is REALLY going to be important for me.
It's weird not being into girls AS MUCH as before. Stressing that I still like girls, but it seems to be a power shift. Maybe it's also because now, there are actually good looking guys, as opposed to HS. Know what would make me happy? If one was in my bed right now. Rawrrrr. I really like him but it looks like it's impossible :/ Maybe he sees me as a boy? I dunno... I mean, I don't even care about the anatomy part. Like I said, I don't need to really get laid as much as I need the cuddle/nuzzle/hold-me-tight.
Kay, you can now divert yourself from this pre-teen angstiness and go back to your regular scheduled programing. So loooong.
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